Creative Resets and New Rhythms for Fall
It has been a hot minute. Let me set the scene for you. It's the beginning of July. I'm sitting on the couch, mindlessly scrolling my phone, exhausted and cranky from another long day of summer camp where staff called out sick, again, and my Dove dark chocolate wrapper, my little bit of peace as I zone out to Grey's Anatomy, tells me, and I quote: Don't let the hard days win.
Now, had I had more energy, I would have thrown that little optimistic piece of chocolate across the room. But let's be real, I ate it, but not before I snapped a picture of the wrapper and sent it to my coworker, being like:
Can you believe how my Dove chocolate just tried to go toxic positivity all over my evening?!?!
I was feeling low. My summer art plans were not materializing. If anything I was just starting to feel shame every time I did not make it into my studio, my brand new room, with a door, to paint, or write, or draw, or just put my feet up and marvel at a room, with a door(!). But nothing was happening. I didn't want to paint. I didn't want to write. Blog posts did not get posted. Newsletters stopped going out. I wasn't even enjoying the mindless scrolling "to relax." And at the beginning of July, literally around my 37th birthday, I just decided.
I'm done.
Hitting Pause
In that instant, I decided that I was going to officially abandon all of those carefully thought out plans and just not. I decided not to try to paint anymore because it was stressing me out more than it was helping me relax. I even deleted Instagram off my phone for all of July and most of August. Stealing a term from a friend, I decided to turtle, hard. I got into survival mode at work. I focused on riding my bike as much as I could - I still had The Triple Bypass event coming up mid-July. I tried to sleep a lot. I read a lot of delightfully mindless books. Bye-bye professional and personal development books!
I definitely still felt the shame and the guilt, the: how are you going to build an art business if you come home after work and just RELAX???
But that's what I did. No painting. No drawing. No pattern making. I even stopped listening to most of my business and creativity podcasts. The summer camp season eventually ended, I got more of my time back, but I still had very little interest in being in my studio or being creative in any way.
So I didn’t push it. After all, that’s what got me into this mess in the first place. While other people are planning vacations and attending BBQs, summer was my busiest time of the year. It wasn’t until September that I even felt an inkling to get back into my studio again.
Creative Baby Steps
When I finally decided I wanted to try creating again, I kept it as simple as possible and really limited the amount of time I was spending in my new studio space. These steps helped me get comfortable and build my confidence back up slowly.
Cleaned and Inventoried My Supplies
I moved into a new apartment in May, which meant my supplies were still a bit disorganized even with my bigger space. I pulled out all of my supplies and started cleaning, organizing, and testing them. This was a no pressure way to just be in my space. It also fed my Type A brain to have shelves and containers organized and to feel like I had at least accomplished something. I also took this time to play with some supplies I never use. I primarily work in watercolor, pencils, and pens, but I have been gifted or thrifted different supplies over the last couple years. So I played and made creative messes, mostly in my sketchbooks, with supplies like charcoal and pastels. Eventually I missed my watercolors, my paintbrushes, and my nice watercolor paper.
Rearranged My Space
This has been the biggest improvement. When I first set up my new art space in the second bedroom of our apartment, I set up my desk facing the wall. This seemed like the most logical choice because I could post important things on the wall and it seemed to make the space work for both my desk and my husband’s desk. But it just wasn’t working. I moved the desk so that I was looking out the window and it was like a switch turning on. I’m not even sure what it is, whether it’s the position in front of the window with a view of the mountains or having my back to the door and distractions, but I just enjoy sitting at the desk so much more, even if I am often distracted by being a nosy neighbor.
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Painting Small Without Documenting
When I finally started to paint again, I started with small pieces of paper and I didn’t document anything. I tried to keep my phone in the other room and to just remember what it was like to mix colors and make marks. Most of these paintings I do not really like, but they got me back into the habit of showing up and practicing. A big component of this was not documenting anything. I enjoy filming and creating videos, being on Instagram, blogging about what I am working on, and sending out newsletters to my community, but I put all of that on hold so that I could just remember to enjoy the process. Little by little, it got easier, and by the end of September, I was actually excited to take some of my play paintings and expand upon them into larger more polished pieces.
New Rhythms for Fall
Now that a of couple months have passed since the chaos of summer, I am feeling serious girl boss energy and wanting to do all of the things, but I have to balance that energy with rest and recovery and blank space in my schedule. Even though I am in the middle of a creative burst, I’m trying to follow some guidelines for how I am approaching my creativity so that I can maintain momentum without getting overwhelmed.
Prioritizing Painting Before Other Tasks
If I am going to work in my studio, I am trying to make time to paint before diving into other projects. Sometimes these are longer painting sessions, when painting is all that I am doing that day. Other days, when I have computer tasks to check off, I try to at least start my time by painting. This could look like completing something small or putting down the first layers to return to later. Honestly, forcing myself to start a studio session can be hard for me, but I’m finding that it makes my other tasks go a bit smoother when I prioritize creativity first. I also try to balance time to just play and paint without documenting everything. At the end of the day, if I am not spending time creating, then all of the other tasks are just going to get harder.
Embracing a Flexible Schedule
My week-to-week can change a lot based on my work, the weather, and my husband’s schedule (which is often the opposite of mine). As much as my brain wants to have a consistent routine every day, that just never happens and isn’t really practical for me. Instead, I’ve started to take my schedule week by week. When I’m really in the zone, I try to schedule when my workouts are each day (I cycle, rock climb, and strength train), which mornings or evenings I’ll be able to do art (around my day job), and what days or evenings my schedule overlaps with my husband’s so I can protect that time. This has been challenging, because I have often really enjoyed a daily tracker where you commit to doing at least something every day, but right now, that just does not feel right, so I am listening to that.
Limiting Creative Time
Since starting to paint again this fall, I have been focused on quality creative time rather than the quantity of creative time. This has meant sometimes setting timers to only work on a painting for 20 minutes or an hour. I have started to stop painting as soon as my mind starts to wander to other tasks or if I feel like I am getting bored with a painting (usually a sign that I am tired). I have also recommitted to my hard stop time in the evening when I am working. Sometimes I can get in a creative flow, especially in the evenings and can end up being in my studio until 9 or 9:30 at night. The creative flow part is great, but the way it totally messes me up for the next day is not, so I am trying really hard to stop whatever I am doing at 8:30. When this happens, I have plenty of time to clean up and get ready for the next day, while also being able to get into bed at a reasonable time.
The messy middle of new work.
Audiobooks
Since we moved and my art space now has its own dedicated room, I have had to find a new way to paint that doesn’t involve sitting in front of the television. I definitely love a good podcast, but audiobooks have been an entirely new experience and one that is starting to become one of my favorite parts of sitting down to paint. So far I have listened to The God of the Woods by Liz Moore, Scarcity Brain by Michael Easter, Kristen Hannah's The Women (talk about emotional damage!), and I’ve just started on The Magicians by Lev Grossman. I’ve started saving my audio book time specifically for when I sit down to paint, which gives me another little motivation to fit in some creative time when I can. (DM me your audiobook recommendations if you have them!)
Learning to Recognize My Patterns
I often enjoy the hustle. I love having a lot going on. I enjoy being busy with a variety of things. I want to accomplish big things, but I also need to recognize that it is impossible to give 100% to everything, everywhere, all at once. I need to factor in rest: weekly, monthly, and seasonally. Summer is always a bust for me when it comes to anything other than my day job. It’s unfortunate, but it’s a fact. I need to remember this rather than trying so hard to force it. Maybe I need to take the summer completely off from creativity. Maybe I need a fun, very simple, very mini project that energizes me rather than overwhelms me. If you know what that could be, please share it, because I clearly have not figured it out yet.
Are you more in favor of routines or rhythms? What practices help keep you grounded? Let me know in the comments.