From Doubt to Design: Embrace Being the Least Experienced in the Room
I don’t think this is the right spot for me anymore.
That was my thought when I learned about the rebrand of Bonnie Christine’s membership from Flourish to Pattern+.
The Power of Community
My 2024 Immersion Workspace
In 2024, I took Bonnie Christine’s Surface Pattern Design Immersion course, a multi-week, multi-module, online course to learn how to use Adobe Illustrator, how to translate my drawings and paintings into repeating patterns, and the foundation to start building a licensing or product-based business. The course was amazing, which it should be at the price tag of $2,000. More than teaching me hard skills, it got me into a community of dynamic and talented people. It showed me what was possible from the 80 year old that just wanted to learn something new, to established surface pattern designers looking to refine their skills.
After I finished the course, with my first ever copyrighted pattern collection in hand and available to purchase on Spoonflower, I eagerly joined Bonnie’s membership, Flourish, which was only open to Immersion alumni and promised ongoing professional development and a community to share ideas with. I really enjoyed Flourish, it was a massive vault of information ranging from art creation, Illustrator tutorials, marketing strategies, time management, you name it there was probably a lesson on it. It was admittedly overwhelming at times, but I felt like there was so much for me to learn.
Turning Points
I started out excited and ready to experiment with new tools.
This past spring, all of that changed, when Bonnie’s team unveiled their membership rebrand Pattern+. Gone were the weekly micro-doses of professional development. Instead, there was now a curated collection of tools specifically for the professional surface pattern designer. This included resources such as trend reports, social media templates and prompts, professional mockups to showcase your work, monthly coaching calls, and perhaps the most enticing, the opportunity to create work for actual design briefs to work with actual companies.
Initially, I was excited about this new direction for the membership. I even allowed my membership to automatically renew in May thinking that I was willing to commit for at least another year to see if the membership would help me continue my forward momentum. As my busy summer season started to wear me down at my day job and my creativity generally took a back seat, I found the new version of the membership overwhelming in a different way. I still feel incredibly new in my design journey. I am still figuring out my style. I’m still learning the technical aspects of creating the patterns themselves. I haven’t created enough collections to develop a portfolio or come anywhere close to pitching my own work to anybody. Increasingly Pattern+ felt like a membership that would be more helpful for somebody with a few more years of pattern making experience. As my creative practice stalled over the summer, I didn’t log into Pattern+ at all from June through August. Emails remained unopened. Tools remained unutilized.
The Only Way Forward is Through
Then one day in early September, when I was just starting to get my creative motivation back, I listened to the podcast What Happens When You’re the Only Woman in the Room, from the Jasmine Star show. There were a lot of useful nuggets in that podcast, but the main themes were:
Look for spaces where you hold the least amount of experience in the room - that’s where you will grow the fastest.
If you invest in an opportunity that turns out to be not quite the best fit - you better try your hardest to get everything you possibly can out of that experience.
If you cannot find the room you need, make it.
Oof.
But they were the words I needed to hear as I was feeling a bit down on myself about having invested in a membership I thought might not be for me. So I decided to log in and just see what I was missing and I checked out one of the most unique aspects of the membership, the Monthly Licensing Challenge. These are monthly opportunities where you receive a design brief from an actual company who is looking for new patterns to apply to their products. Challenges I missed during my rocky summer included wallpaper, party napkins, and fabric. I perused the most recent challenge and while the imposter syndrome in me was thinking, I am nowhere near experienced enough to create something like this, there was also the tiniest quietest voice that said…
But why not me?
That was the only question I needed to hear. There was a fairly quick turnaround time, about four weeks, to put together a fabric collection of 6-8 patterns, including a second colorway. It felt like a tall order for somebody who had not even touched Adobe Illustrator in months. But the question continued to repeat inside my head as I thought about it more.
Why not me?
Taking the First Creative Step
Pinterest moodboard as I gathered inspiration and motif ideas.
That was the question that motivated me to make a mood board on Pinterest, to pick out a color scheme, to choose my own interpretation of the theme, to sketch out motifs, to create watercolor marks, and to open up Adobe Illustrator for the first time in literal months.
Why not me?
And I got it done. I submitted my collection, Sweet Provisions (details soon), before the deadline. And just like that my total collections went from one to two, because I kept asking myself:
Why not me?
I actually have zero expectations of Sweet Provisions collection getting picked (though wouldn’t that be awesome?), but it was enough to get my head in the game again and it made mark making and pattern design a part of my practice for a few weeks. I also enjoyed it. I love painting in watercolor, but there is something about the technical aspects of pattern design that feeds my brain in a different way. It’s like solving a puzzle. And if (when), that pattern doesn’t get chosen, I have a second full collection that I can put up on Spoonflower. I have another collection that could make it into my portfolio. I have some momentum. I built up a little bit more confidence.
🎨 Want to see what my daily life is like from studio peeks, outdoor adventures, books, recipes and more? Follow me on Instagram. I’d love to meet you.
Sketches for the Sweet Provisions fabric collecti
I still think this membership is a bit out of my league, but I’m trying to embrace this idea:
If I made it a priority to get as much out of this membership as possible before May 2026 (when it renews), how much will my creative practice have improved? What will I have learned? What tangible results - completed collections, products, licensing deals, could I have?
Why not me?
I can’t wait to share my new collection with you. Make sure to subscribe to the newsletter so you never miss an update. Follow along on Instagram for a peak behind my process and what’s happening in my daily life.
Interested in learning more about my licensing journey? Check out my six part series on creating my first fabric collection, starting with My First Fabric Collection: Finding Inspiration.